uRw "Had an amazing day with three incredible women - Rosa, Nero and albamarie. For some reason, they thought I'd look matronly and was older -- Not sure why. LOL!"
I had a great time too, thank you Nero for opening your home to us and for that great lunch! uR, you are such a blessing to all of us, and it was great to just be able to sit around and BS. I am rather abashed that I thought you would be matronly, as old as me at least. It's because that is how you write, kind, loving and wise as an old owl. But let me go on record to tell you all that uR is teensy (I can see why her son calls her "little mom") and adorable, feisty and not above dropping several un-matronly F bombs herself. After all, she IS from Brooklyn
uRw "I knew that anger was holding me back. I was angry at him, at her, at MLC. And that was ok, for a time. But I realized that remaining angry at him or her was not going to change anything. But it was changing me. And I was no longer willing to sacrifice myself. The Ow didnt care if I was angry, neither did my h. So, what was the point of continuing to hold onto that? That was just giving her my headspace and both of them my control. "
I read something on FaceBook, one of those pictures people post, that said that harboring anger and forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The other person does not care or sometimes even know you are angry. You are just poisoning yourself. I have found it a blessing to give up all of my pent up hate for my H's OW. Not sure why I hated her so much, when it takes two to tango for sure, but now I just feel sorry for her - a desperate unhappy woman who is willing to break up a family and 38 year old marriage to get herself an American husband and the resultant green card. Pathetic. Sad.
Hopeful2 "Not only am I a better person for surviving this but I believe I have taught my kids to be better people and to take the high road in all that life throws at them. I have a child who is living with a life threatening disease and he has looked around and saw others plights and has said how lucky he is.... Life is always about perspective..."
Wow your son is such a blessing and such a reflection of you, H2. Just like uR's son is such a blessing to all of us. He is also so loving and so giving and patient and strong despite his illness.
MLC sux, and I would not wish it on anyone, but just this moment realized that if not for my H going bonkers, I would not know all of the wonderful supportive people I am truly honored to be able to call my friends. And would have mindlessly blundered thru my life, unaware and unknowing. H's MLC has forced me to grow, and to grow up. Not a bad thing.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
i'm agreeing like mad guys. it's an amazing blessing and inspiration to have some person - you don't even know, but know of- change your perspective in life and give you the needed "bump" that pushes you into the next slot - and perspective change.
as usual- glad to be alive, sane (relatively) and healthy - we can all get thru this just because it hasn't killed us yet, so probably isn't likely to.
just keeping on thinking about that ole one day thing- it's soo true. and there's always soooo much to be grateful for if you care to look and think of it all that way- in the whole world context too- we're alllll so RICH compared to most countries and peoples of the world-
makes me snap out of it - and get moving again forward -
You help in many ways. I loved when you asked me if you can be tough, heck yea, I'm a ball of anger and I think you helped me reel some of that in. The best way to not be angry is to no let past words dictate how I see things today.
These MLCer have no consistency...why am I hanging on to his every word, he doesn't even know his words or believe them. My S22 said "I" was the one living life as the crazy one thinking that I would change my sitch by doing the same things over.
My h does talk and talk, I do believe it's because of being on the spectrum, but regardless, It does me no good, it's bad attention I'm seeking that really leave me devastated. I hope to be able to say, I will never seek that attention again and walk away from it as it comes my way.
I did see my family clearer from afar, and I came home with new plans, and goals for my family and myself.
Thanks again for your compassion , we will do this again, we deserve to all be supported by good people, we are all good people.
Best dm
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
Dawn, you are such a special woman, with a big heart.
I feel so very much, what you are feeling and what others are feeling, too. I want to help in any way I can.
Thank you for understanding, when I asked you if I can be tough. I have to be true to myself. And for me, completely honest is the only way I know how to be.
You are doing great, sweetie. And yes, we will do it again.
I wanted to talk a little about something that I posted on someone's thread.
It is about holding onto the past. It is ok to remember and cherish the memories that you had. It is ok to wish that you can have that life again one day. But, it is in holding on so tightly to what once was, that will keep you stuck.
Is this the life I thought I was going to have? No. Is it what I would have picked? No. But it is the life I was given. So, I can accept that this is how it is right now and understand it will not always be this way. I can accept that I can change it if I choose for it to change or I can continue to wish that things were different.
One gets you to live your life, the other stops you from it.
I know you are a busy lady...but you are so wise. Would you mind reading my latest post? I need some advice. This week has been TERRIBLE. I feel like I've undone all my progess to date.
You are so wonderful at letting go of the hurt and moving forward. I need to move forward!
Thank you!!! And thank you for continuing to post on here. You have changed me more than you'll ever know!
