Thank you my forum friends!

[AJM]

C, this kind of thing is kind of off the charts when it comes to steadfast ways to handle things. It may help explain why you're feeling "lost". If you watch some of the other threads, you'll see some bits and pieces of the thought process while a MLCr works through their issues. Because it is their issues to work through, you have to take care of you. That said, there isn't really a right or wrong way to handle things. There's only what works for you.

Do you have any advice for me on heading into my conversation with him? I already know I am going to let him take the lead and hear what he has to say.

If he says he is certain he wants to separate, I am just going to tell if that is what he wishes, then fine, and leave it at that. (no more talking)

If he wants to work on things what should I do/say? Should I just say ok I agree and leave it at that for now, or start getting into my boundaries that I listed above?

Boundaries? Boundaries aren't something you have to communicate. They are something you have to enforce. With or without words. It's friendlier if you communicate them to be sure, but not required. A MLCr, generally speaking, is working through a lot of issues. It is not ok while they do that to hurt others. But they tend to. That said, it's helpful to let them know you won't be spoken to inappropriately. That helps nobody. It's as if they have to learn how to treat people again, so you need to have that boundary and if you tell him - great. If you enforce it, that'll work too. Make sense?

As for conversation? I suggest figuring out what you want. You can have the answers and still not agree with how he handles them. Believe me That's just a disagreement. You can also let him have the last word and see how that works for you.

I think your needs are valid and your approach is a good one. If that helps.

My $0.02.

Peace,
AJ