SE2 and I have declared "friends." She was ready to move a little faster than I was. All good...she's a great lady and I wish her luck.
XW and I have been out a few times since...some good, some bad. She's showing a lot more self-awareness than I have seen from her. She seems to understand some of the dynamics in herself that brought us to this place. She also seems to understand the amount of damage she's done. And she sounds like she's starting to dig in and figure out some of her things...to start to become who she wants to be. That's all extremely positive.
On the bad side, I think there's still an awful lot of resentment on her side for some of my behavior. She continues to bring up things from even before our M, things I've apologized for many many times. To me, it means she hasn't gotten to a place of forgiveness yet, neither for me, nor herself. That's a tough hurdle though, so maybe she'll get there with more time. I still see her struggling to be honest, and we've discussed that at length. Another huge hurdle.
Regarding forgiveness, I think I still have more to work on there. I have zero trust in XW and an awful lot of fear, and when we discussed, she actually said, "I respect your need to protect yourself." Again, a deeper understanding of whats going on that I would have gotten from her previously.
My GAL has been a bit limited lately....my knee is a little banged up, so not been running either. Hoping to get back in the swing of things this week. I feel like I need to challenge myself more, to get out of my comfort zone more.
