Questions without answers...I'm tired of asking.

[albamarie]

Good morning, I'm still learning from my experience having actually met and spoken to real life people about this MLC world. I have brought back all the faces, the sounds of their voices, and the look in their eye, and I let myself understand that I am not alone. I felt like such a victim, and meeting some of you has helped me see how wrong I was.

The strength of will and faith along with self preserverance was shown to me and I am stronger for it, and I realize just how much I do need friends, I can be in my own way too much!

I have not lived my few days home jumping into the same ole habits. I have put my family and my needs in front of me, not my past with H, and am going forward. I have made a deal that even with H, I will not bring MLC spiel from the past into my present. I will not listen to or encourage any more spiel. I will stop needing his attention!

Funny how I had to go away and look in on what and who I have in my life, to be able to see past the MLC vail I put up. I can even hear my H say, enjoy your family, let me go, don't follow me, I don't want you in my chaos.

I have stared to think of my future as just that, mine. My kids lives around me are changing, I can't live for only them any more. My S26 just bought an engagement ring, time and life are never going to stay still for MLC or me, so I need to be on board.

I am going to need my friends, my faith and my DBing, and my kick in the butt, it's not good to be alone.