Hello! 20 year marriage teetering... (part V)

[littleGTO]

AS- I think you are handling your D's situation very well!

I also think maybe your W's gripping control on your D and her lack of trust stems from her own insecurities and her LACK OF CONTROL over her own life (she may perceive she has this falso sense of control therefore projects it in her R with your D).

It is very difficult to be a mediator between your child and the other parent. Especially when you disagree with your spouse. However, continue to try to put up a united front when you can and I liked how you even tried to give your D some perspective about your W'd behavior and to give her time and space to figure things out.
Lastly, continue to reinforce that despite your W's controlling behavior that your D still needs to respect her wishes..she is the parent (too) and not the child.

All things said, I think you are doing an amazing job in life!!