my Grasshopper, methinks you are finding the path...
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They're not doing this on purpose
Yes, EXACTLY...oh my, the W I've known for so long would not, could not, do this intentionally to ANYone, much less the kids, and maybe somewhere in there, me. Which leads to your next insight:
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Our dependence (even if it's a mis-perception on their part) burned them out and for whatever reason gave them this strong urge to run from us.
Very close to what W has said a few times...
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The only way for us to really heal is to completely let go of the past over and over again and to start each day as a new beginning. This is the only way to true forgiveness and thus this is the only way reconciliation will ever be possible for our sitches. We need to prove that we won't hold any of this over their head when their journeys are finally complete.
Somebody has been doing their homework Cadet assigned...
This is awesome to hear ETC...just f'n awesome!
You/We can be angry with them, BUT, we need to feel, and feel through that anger to get to compassion, because, as my W has said now, it, at the core, wasn't about me, especially now that I have done the work on me. How is your work on YOU going?
Eventually that "how can they do this to family, kids, me" gets filed under "dunno, but it happened, now wtf can we do to recover and move on with life, M or not-M?". I still occasionally have that thought, but 2+ years into this, I'm pretty much in the LBS "acceptance" stage...it's like being mad at the weather...doesn't really help change anything, so just go get an umbrella, or get wet. But I still get mad sometimes, but briefly.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
