Learning to detach

[Whiterose]

Thank you so much Snodderly. I value your comments greatly!

I sobbed it out with a girlfriend of mine....she came here instead of me going out lol. It was good to have her here and she's always so carefree with the boys she puts them at ease.

I forwarded all the info as well as the supporting texts and emails to my lawyer. I also paraphrased my conversation with H so that I had it in writing for her although I'm sure it's hearsay.

H messaged S18 this AM. Asking if he and his brother were still going to thanksgiving. He said he was that S14 probably wasn't. H asked why? (Insert the biggest eye roll here)

S18 said that he was really angry at H and that he wants nothing to do with him right now. S18 said he has had more opportunity to accept it.

H said I don't know how to explain it to him.

I asked s18 if he really did accept it and he made comments to me about going to court and just having the both of them tell the judge H is an ass and that he really wants nothing to do with him but he is his dad. I said then tell your dad you're mad. He thinks you're fine and you're obviously not. I said you need to make him understand that even though you're talking to him you don't approve of his actions. It'll be more for you then him.

S18's response to H about not being able to explain it to S14 was
Not my job to tell you how to explain it to S14 you're his dad and should figure it out. I'm upset too but don't want Aunty to yell at me again. I'm fn pissed off at what you're doing too.

H responded. I didn't ask you to tell me how to talk to S14 and please don't swear at me.

S18 told me and I asked him not to talk to his dad for at least 12 hours. Is said you end to cool down and he needs to think about what you've said. Just leave it. H called his cell and he didn't answer then called the house phone. I said do you want to answer it and he said he didn't know. I said if you don't know do nothing and leave it for now.

H called S18 cell again and left a message
He sounded very contrite (S18 played it for me)
Hi s18 it's me
I knew you were struggling but didn't realize you were this angry at me. I thought you'd work through it or something but obviously not. Obviously you needed to do that give me a call when you have a few minutes if you want to talk about it. Luv ya buddy.

I told S18 it was good that his dad was finally understanding but to still give it until tomorrow to talk to him just so that everything calms down. S18 then went to work. S14 came home and I saw that H had called his cell twice but both call were ignored and then an hour later H called the house phone and I did not pick up. Let him sit in his leaking truck or cot on the floor and REALLY feel what he is doing to his boys. I pray he takes this 24 hours to reflect on what his children need.......I know it's a pipe dream but it's the feast day of St Francis of Assisi (my church parish) and I'm praying for the littlest of miracles today.

Working all weekend again. Work is good though. A blessing!