Taking the next step

[TryingToDo180]

me too I agree we can be confusing with our twin H's

[Not Quitting]

As long as I don't mix up W with flirty waitress of drunk taxi lady....

Now that would be funny - depending on your point of view of course Better not do that MH, W might not be amused.

[RosaLinda]

Hi DMR, just catching up on all my friends' threads. It sounds like your wife is still slowly inching towards you, and that with all your new changes, you will be able to make it stick this time. Don't fret about all those text messages with the Contractor, I bet they are not seeing each other much if they are texting every single day, many times, morning, noon, and evening. Remember my friend in England, who ended up whacking out and having a MLC before my very eyes? She has TWO OM. She only occasionally texts the one she is actually physical with, but is having a pure EA with the other OM ( ) and they text dozens of times every day. But she does not see him.

Boy you really bared your soul answering FlyOnTheWall's questions, I so appreciate that, thanks for giving us this glimpse into your W's behavior and how you are dealing with it. Fly, how is your wife feeling?

"When OM #2 came along, she echoed the same things she told me about OM #1, but said in retrospect that it was different - OM #1 had always been an idiot, it was just about the PA, and she exaggerated it so I would think she was a total loser (her words). But OM #2 was the kindest person ever how doesn't even know how to get angry".

This made me laugh and laugh. My H told me almost the same thing. EA#1 was the love of his life, a wonderful caring intelligent woman who understood him and "got" him. Until she skyped him a message meant for another man by mistake. Oops! When H hooked up with his Russian Home Wrecker, I pointed out that their relationship was just the same as the relationship he had with EA#1, and she would be gone as soon as she realized he is in no financial position to secure a green card for her, even is she does manage to convince him to marry her. His answer....oh Linda, now I can see how ridiculous THAT relationship was, but the love between RT and me, THIS is the real deal

Don't worry, your W is turning back to you. Slow progress is good progress. She'll be realizing how "ridiculous" her relationship with the Contractor is, in no time.

[MileHigh]

Motivational thought for the day: It's very simple. It's just not very easy!

I hope that wasn't de-motivational.

It's not, right? Why? Because we can do this! We're strong enough and brave enough and...

Am I reminding any one of Stewart Smalley with his Daily Affirmations? "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggonit, people like me!"

[MileHigh]

Thanks, RL! You're a gem. Looks like spouses really do see things the same regarding the homewreckers!

What is wrong with us that we can't see how THIS TIME it's COMPLETELY DIFFERENT?!

The Contracter has been demoted to Handyman. Contractors are (hopefully) professional. He's just a schmuck who does painting and stuff as a side gig to his day job - he's also a landlord - probably a slumlord, and I don't think he pays taxes on his side jobs. But we can call him what we like (believe me, I have other names: dipsh*t, a**hole...). I've wasted too much time thinking about him again. Not worth my time and energy.

[TryingToDo180]

lol you know what? my H's own business is called oddjobs hehe. My cat is at the moment sitting on my lap, purring away and wants to keep pressing the space bar, lol.

[MileHigh]

I've got a lap cat at the moment, too. What she's doing is clawing the arms of my chair.

[TryingToDo180]

lol mine used to love clawing H's chair. He decided in his MLC state that he didn't want the chair as it's "ruined" as he put it! It's now upstairs in my son's games room Another MLC state, they want everything to be clean and tidy or maybe the opposite of what they were before! Is yours like that NQ?
My friend told me that my H said to her that the reason he had left is because I wasn't clean and tidy. Well who was the one at home all day and the one making the mess! Anyway I won't go on, ramble finished

[Pudmuddle]

Hi ttd, mh and nq.

funny you should mention how they now do the opposite. My h used to clean a lot. He always needed things tidy and in their place and he would vacuum and clean bathrooms. Now, it is like he doesn't even care about that stuff, which is how I know he is NOT is his right mind. He was a great wife. sigh. LOL.

I think that's one thing I can look for in the future for a good sign, if he starts cleaning again. HAha.

[MileHigh]

Remember when my W said I wasn't keeping this place clean, so I scrubbed the place from end-to-end, like I was in basic training? That helped my PMA a lot! She looked shocked when she saw it - and I think she's impressed that I'm keeping it up. So, it was a 180 for me. But, I have the feeling she's not keeping the other place clean - you know, the house I pay for but never get to live in, or even see. Be nice if she ever even offered to show me pictures.