Hey Nero, hope you dont mind I brought this over here.
Originally Posted By: nero
honestly it doesn't feel like "enough" to me. perhaps i'm spoiled from being the other half of a pair for my entire adult life- it sounds greedy to just want that to continue. it does happen to be more "fulfilling" feeling. i know EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE SAYS FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN. YEAH- i get it. BUT - there's also the living conditions of your life to be dealt with. it's more like that.
i could get used to an outhouse if i had no options- would i prefer it? i don't think so. i'd miss that darn bathroom for the rest of my life. I ALSO HATE COLD SHOWERS OR TEPID BATHS. COULD I exist with them, yeah. would i EVER EMBRACE IT- i DON'T THINK SO. it's like that for me i believe.
in life- i just miss having someone there in my home with me. . allllllllll everything aside- i'd rather have a companion in life AND INDOOR PLUMBING toboot.
will it EVER GO AWAY????? feeling like this- dull & just a bit not so happy in the background of my life all the time- idk. what the heck will happen- who knows.??
You know Nero, I understand what you are saying here. I really do. I have felt and sometimes still feel like that on occasion. Here's the thing. You can feel like that, but, it doesnt change what is happening right now. So, since all this is going to happen anyway, I think, at some point, when you are ready, you need to try to change your mindset a bit.
Because holding onto that, will keep you stuck. Is this the life I thought I was going to have? No. Is it what I would have picked? No. But it is the life I was given. So, I can either accept that this is how it is right now. And that is can change if I choose for it to change or I can continue to wish that things are not the way they are.
One gets you to live your life, the other stops you from it.
If this doesnt work out with your h, will you ever feel happy again? I believe you will. Your life may be different, but, different doesnt have to mean bad.
People do go on to lead happy lives after a divorce, an MLC, a death. They do.
I'm finding i still have one tiny kernel of faith inside that somehow whatever happens will be the right things and they will somehow become apparent and i will somehow do whatever it is that is "correct" and so on.i can't even believe i lived my life like this.
It worked for you and thats great. Nothing wrong with that. When it stops working, then you need to do something different, right?
i've had a great life- i suppose last few years aside , if i croaked today i wouldn't have any giant regrets or feel i've missed a heck of alot.
