WH, They are children in adult bodies. Like children, they want mom or dad's attention, whether it's good or bad. They want your attention because they need to sense that you are still out there within reach if they should fall. They don't want us, but they don't want us to move forward and possibly meet someone else.
A lot of the times, they want to make sure we know that they are still there even though they do not have contact w/us. It's a strange dynamic, but no matter what, they have to remind us that they are still there. They are miserable human beings who are hurting to the core of their souls and yet, they lash out at the one's closet to them...us. They want us to be right where they left us pre-crisis and they can sense when we are detaching and moving forward.
I'm glad you've been able to borrow some money to pay your mortgage. I can imagine just how on fire you are about his comments about having the time of your life and never home....don't allow it to make you a bitter person. He's projecting once again and, of course, you are the target to get those little projection darts. He knows how to push your buttons w/o really trying. Find a way to release that anger and soon. If you don't, it will affect your health and your boys will sense it.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
