Man. What an insane two days. This post is long, apologies in advance.
First of all thanks everyone for your comments and thoughts. I will respond to them when my head is a little clearer.
Anyway, today, I was supposed to let W know about taking the kids to breakfast this week; she had suggested a certain restaurant (Bob Evans for those of you that know it). I texted her this morning letting her know that it would have to be Sunday after church. I then said Bob Evans sounds good right now, I'm starving! Just a chatty text, then was going to go about my day.
W: "Why don't you just come over here and grab something to eat. I'm about to get in the shower." Me: *sit in stunned silence, no response* W: "Door's unlocked, getting in shower."
I threw on a nice shirt, cologne, combed hair in about 10 seconds! I went over, and she was walking around in her bathrobe getting coffee, and offered me some. I helped her open a box with a dresser in it (joked that she just needed manual labor), and then we sat and drank coffee and chatted about kids, school, work, life, etc.
W: "Come in the bedroom and talk to me while I get dressed." Me: "uh." W: "I can stand behind the closet door, silly."
So I sat in a chair in her room, and she talked about S5 misbehaving (W has a hard time handling him). She reached around the door to show me that her panties matched a pillow on her bed, then she walked out in a shirt and panties (oh, that bootie, yes I looked), and went to get a pair of pants, and nonchalantly walked back over.
Anyway the conversation spanned probably 2 hours - I actually said I needed to leave a couple of times to pick up D13's prescriptions, and W was like "You don't have to rush, the pharmacy is open all day." After much internal debate, I did decide to wear my ring. I didn't try to flash it around, actually kinda forgot I was wearing it, but W touched it and said, "ooooooo" and kinda smiled at it. I really think it was the right decision; even though it went a little against the grain. Maybe since I never took it off in "anger", it was a little different situation.
Very little R talk other than she asked me about the hearing Monday, said she had never gotten a notice. I kinda chuckled and told her it was a little odd to be hanging out having coffee when we would be meeting in court to start a divorce trial on Monday - she laughed and said, "Well, maybe we can grab breakfast together before the hearing to make it weirder!" Then, "Even if we have that hearing that doesn't mean anything is final."
She then said she really didn't know what to do about D; that she felt there was so much junk that had been said and done that maybe it was impossible to come back from. I told her I understood and sometimes it seemed overwhelming to me as well. I said if we wanted to have any chance of success, we'd have to go one day at a time and start very small. She talked about the one time about a year where she left for about a month, and when she came back, nothing was different. I told her I had pushed for her to come back too soon because, quite honestly, I missed her, and we should have allowed more time, and gone to marriage counseling, etc, but that's a lesson we can learn from.
She said, "I don't know" about 8 times, then asked me if she could think about it until Sunday when we went to lunch. I said sure, I was just listening, but didn't want to pressure her, and left.
I went over, and she was walking around in her bathrobe getting coffee, and offered me some. I helped her open a box with a dresser in it (joked that she just needed manual labor), and then we sat and drank coffee and chatted about kids, school, work, life, etc. 