on the edge...

[dingo]

Thanks Sandi. More extremely valuable information.

I am definitely guilty of all those things you listed. The provider, the fixer, the non-romantic. Obviously we could not relate our needs to each other.

As far as I know, she has not tried to contact him outside of work. Its a certainty that they see each other at work. She did speak with a couple of her friends last night, told them that she was staying in the marriage and asked for their support.

I appreciate your insight into the effort that she is actually putting in, even though it may seem to me like she's not doing much. I guess patience and steadiness is the key...

I do understand the difference between winning her back and doing what I need to do to have a lasting marriage. I feel like i have learned more about relationships in the last 3 months than I have in my entire life leading up to now. I just need the chance to apply it and thats where I see the affair jamming things up.

I guess I do feel/hope she's started to notice some changes and is curious about them because even though she has reverted to the affair a couple of times, there is no longer talk of a divorce or looking for apartments and the demeanor has shifted from mostly negative to more or less neutral.

Our anniversary is next Tuesday and we're going away for the weekend. I guess all is not lost yet....