wife hardends heart-4

[planet]

Took my girls out and later after sending them back, there's OM having dinner at W's. I acted indifferent when he saw me and tried to greet me while i gave him a slight nod.
I guess this is the new reality i have to accept. He's going to be around there house more often now. I dread seeing his 'mickey mouse' face but i will have to do whatever it takes for my kids.
I knew something was up when W started to be really nice to me just before she left the kids with me. Nothing 'good' ever happens whenever she's nice and chatty. sigh.

[Pudmuddle]

Ugh planet, I hope I never get to this stage.

If it were me I would look right through him like he didn't exist, but that's just me.

I keep believing a R built on deceit and lies can't last for long or head in a positive direction.

Sorry it has come to this for you. Hang tough.

[planet]

My situation does look bleak.
She's a free woman now and she can damn well date anyone she likes.
Don't know if any of her family and friends sees this as awkward but they don't really hide it anymore.

[planet]

I wish her family would just lighten up around me. My SIL was very uncomfortable when I tried to have a conversation with her. She didn't even look me in my eyes. Well I got no one to blame but myself for not having a relationship with them. I don't have much to say to them in all my 10 year relationship with W.
She's good friends with OM. They hang out often as a group of 4 along with her BF and W.

It's been many months now. I think I have finally forgive myself. I think I have longer sleeping hours. I still have problems letting go. I respect W's wishes in getting a D and pretty much gave her all the space and time she wants.
I know the focus now is entirely on myself. I bought something for myself recently and its been a very long time since the last one. I'm beginning to adjust to my new life away from 'home' and I feel quite comfortable with it.

[Pudmuddle]

Family situations are awkward, they feel uncomfortable for you and W and probably really don't know what to say.

My thought is practice DB on them! Just be cheerful and happy and don't let their awkwardness come over to you. That may put them at ease, if there is a next time.

Keep doing more good things for you. It's very, very hard to let go, just take it a day at a time.

[planet]

W and D3 were having dinner when I came over for my daily visits. I greeted her but there wasn't any returned but I decided to join them anyway.
It was awkward. W seemed bored and unhappy. At first, I thought maybe she was unhappy over her situation and suddenly it struck me that I was probably flattering myself. She could be bored because she was missing someone else or could be really in a foul mood having to meet me. Anyway, mind reading, I know.
I find myself having no connection with her at all. There nothing I want to share with her and I think it's the same with W. I'm losing her faster than I thought. I wanted to start some small talk but nothing comes to mind. We are two strangers sitting in a room and the only thing we have in common was D3. I was talking and trying to get D3 to finish her dinner.
W eventually left us and it was somewhat a relief. There was a lot of negative tension. I was able to encourage D3 to finish her dinner and later enjoyed some YouTube videos with D4.
I'm afraid we would not have any thing positive to talk to each other anymore. I was never the ice breaker. She moving further and further away from me and i don't want us to continue like this.
What should I do?

[PatientMan]

Be positive, outgoing, and attractive at all times. Don't let her negativity control the mood of the room. OWN the room yourself.

Her emotions and actions don't affect you in any way. Just be who you want to be.

-PM

[planet]

Her frostiness just shoots through the roof!
Her emotions doesn't affect me and i continued spend time with my kids.
It's just that i feel i don't know W anymore as if we are strangers. I wanted to start small talk but instead i just casually 'ignored' W and focused on D3. Really awkward.

Anyway, W just called to say she'll be having the kids until sunday afternoon.
WAITDAMINUTE...she called? surprise, surprise....

I'll be meeting new people tonight since i'm free. GAL up.

[Pudmuddle]

I understand how you feel about your W right now. I keep thinking the same about my H. He really is not a person I want to be around right now because I don't like his behavior or his actions. Sometimes this makes it easier to detach too.

He is definitely not the person I used to know, I hope it comes back to him someday. I think it will take a powerful moment for them to come back to reality. What will that be? Who knows. But we have to be patient until it hits home for them.

Sometimes I feel like we are all on the same rollercoaster while our spouses are on the sidelines going in circles.

[planet]

Pudmuddle, patience is the LBS's best friend now.
I used to have lots of it when facing difficult tasks but seemingly lost it in my current situation.

I met up with several strangers from a meetup group. It was the first time for most. I think we had a rather ok conversation during dinner and then we proceeded to watch a movie. After that, they said their goodbyes. I thought to myself this is so wrong as we didn't have enough time to really get to know each other. I tried to get them to have a drink somewhere but none seem interested. This is weird. That's their evening plans?
I guess when introverts meet, that's what you get.