14th Thread to Somewhere Uncertainly

[RosaLinda]

T2 "I did get a hug after expressing my desire for one, and it wasn't a side hug and there wasn't any <pat><pat> involved. It was full frontal contact, a "real" hug... But idk, maybe some more being comfortable around me in general. No expectations there, especially IF she is revisting some replay, just a "feeling" I have. If so, I know she has to work that out within herself, like your H did.

This loveless, sexless marriage thingy does have an expiration date, I'm just not sure when it is, I left my reading glasses in the car... Somewhere the line between providing a safe, sane place for someone to work things out, and being taken advantage of, maybe will get crossed, but I hope not."

PudMuddle "wow, I love the side hug one arm thing don't you? <--facetiously I also get the lip avoidance when trying to plant a quick kiss. Or he bows his head down so I cannot reach his cheek. Ugh. So I stopped that.

If I feel the urge to give a quick kiss, I now just do it and don't have expectations of it being any different. Bleah.
The thing is he has always been such a hugger of women, friends, work colleagues and now...totally avoids his W."

That's good T2, that was a GOOD hug! I was so happy that when my H returned from Moscow Wed night, I got a half-real hug, just one arm, but up close to his body, and no pat pat. But then S28 got a huge bear hug AND kiss. Made me feel sort of crappy, you know? And stupid to be jealous of my own son.

Your W's hug, even if you had to request it, does show that she is warming up to you. She IS trying. That's a lot for a MLCer. That's all they can do, little bits at a time, baby steps.

I agree that W probably IS having a difficult time with her guilt over her past actions towards you and your kids. But I have come to firmly believe in keeping the road home smoothly paved and easy to navigate. That might mean different things to different people, but for me, if my H was to show signs of recommitting himself to our marriage, including resumption of physical affection and marital relations, I would NOT demand apologies for his EAs and PAs, but would try to gracefully let him off the hook. Is that what you would do?