I am starting to find myself again. Weight is coming off, I am doing my hair and putting on minimal makeup when I go to work (I live in OR scrubs), and saying "screw it" I'm going to spend a bit of money on myself. My self confidence/esteem is coming back.
I know I still want my marriage to work...but I don't want the old one back.
Watch out H....the woman you fell in love with, is slowly finding her way back to the surface!
I am starting to find myself again. Weight is coming off, I am doing my hair and putting on minimal makeup when I go to work (I live in OR scrubs), and saying "screw it" I'm going to spend a bit of money on myself. My self confidence/esteem is coming back.
I know I still want my marriage to work...but I don't want the old one back.
Watch out H....the woman you fell in love with, is slowly finding her way back to the surface!
Awesome Muse!
This is exactly how I am starting to feel too! All of the above. It's wonderful to feel like YOU again, ain't it?
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
So, seeing my pattern, this is about where I get clingy and needy...and I start phoning. Yes I am feeling that neediness...I can admit it. But recognizing the pattern are makes it easier to control it.
I miss him something awful tonight, (Learned from my mistake, won't repeat it), so I will write it here. I am going to do some laundry, pet my dog, watch Greys Anatomy and go to bed. No phone calls, no texts, no email.
This is our longest stretch of no communication. I know he is hanging onto the advice of the Dickmans (as I call them and a play on of their names)...it should be interesting to see how long it takes him to contact me.
Any guesses?
Oh and for humours sake, I finally have a comeback to Betsey's comment of. "Put on your big girl panties.
"Never mind panties, I'm going to lace up my combat boots and go commando!"
More than half of any problem that requires action is actually recognizing where it IS a problem. Good for you.
Just remember that you miss the person who treated you well - not the person who's here right now. It's totally understandable. Heck, I miss the old XH he used to be, and he probably says the same about me. The one thing that remains constant is change. You just have to go on faith that he's noticing your changes and reevaluating his choices based on what he sees. So just keep going.
I also recognize my own traps - in my case, I need to get out and exercise more. I bought a Fit Bit this week and it arrived yesterday. So instead of sitting on the couch and snacking, I'm going to ride the exercise bike that I also bought and get busy. It's just good for us to develop new habits that work for us and leave old bad habits behind. And what a sense of accomplishment!
LOL love the commando and combat boots! Great visual! You could also wear a thong and flip your H off. But that will probably set you back some.
Good luck this weekend! Hope you have a list of stuff you can do that will take your mind off doing the things that will take you away from your long term goals.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
"The one thing that remains constant is change. You just have to go on faith that he's noticing your changes and reevaluating his choices based on what he sees."
Here is my question....how can he notice my changes if he isn't seeing me?
"The one thing that remains constant is change. You just have to go on faith that he's noticing your changes and reevaluating his choices based on what he sees."
Here is my question....how can he notice my changes if he isn't seeing me?
If your changes are genuine then they represent the new you which will be apparent in every interaction you have, whenever you are able to have one. Work on being the best version of YOU - focus on THAT - and you won't have to worry about your changes being noticed. In time, they will be. By everyone.
I know the short term can seem excruciatingly important, as if time is working against you, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. I know that's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.
Do the work. Be who YOU want to be, and don't let anyONE or anyTHING get in your way. Be true to yourself, be respectable, be honorable...be someone only a fool would leave.
Be patient.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
". Be true to yourself, be respectable, be honorable...be someone only a fool would leave."
I am trying. I no longer call him upset or angry. I keep all contact brief and polite. I am getting out and relearning how to live my life. I don't know what else to do other than that.
Good conversation today. A few weeks ago, I told H that when he calls/picks up the phone, that he is a grouch, and it puts me on my guard. He said, he is always worried that I am going to get angry/upset.
I have maintained my cheery disposition, today he called just to discuss the dog and a couple other functional issues. I told him about my already zany day, laughed and asked about his.
Then I got off the phone.
I think I surprised him.
If there is a chance, I know this is how it's going to happen. If not....then at least I will have the pleasure of confusing him every now and then. I forgot how fun that can be to do...and how much H always enjoyed me surprising him every. Ow and then.
