Seperation VS Divorce

[peaceSJ]

Thanks, John. My kids are only 5 and 7 years old. I'm planning to take them to park. But acting as I don't know anything about the A in front of H and letting him cheat me again and again make me feel so painful...

[peaceSJ]

Some updates.
My H and I went to see MC. He told MC he felt unloved for many years and his thought of divorce is on and off for so many years as well. The MC asked us many questions and pointed out what I did in the past shows I loved my H, but maybe his perception is different. Finally my H admitted that I may love him but he claimed that I don't know how to love him. Even I can change the way I love him, he doesn't want to try any more. He said he is in 40s now and he doesn't want to waste his time. He wants to move on :-(
What he didn't say is that there is OW waiting for him...

Any inputs?

[MrBond]

So the MC didn't know that he was seeing someone else? Why didn't you bring it up?

[peaceSJ]

Even If i bring it up, my H won't admit it and will be angry.

[JuneReN]

Even If i bring it up, my H won't admit it and will be angry.

But you can't have MC based on a lie.

An OP is a whole different ballgame and your H's anger is just misplaced guilt and anger at being caught out.

[peaceSJ]

I had a proof of OP involved, but still my H denied. He stated it is not the OP caused our R broken and it's all my fault (not enough sex). I don't understand why he keeps denying the affair since he wants D? Can anybody help me figure out? Thanks

[JuneReN]

Easy. Makes him the bad guy and he is not ready to take any responsibility. You can't make him you can't make him.

For what it's worth though, H lied to me at beginning of separation. Hated it. As we got closer, I told him that lying, above all, is a deal breaker for me.

[peaceSJ]

Thanks, Kate. Now he decided to move out. I guess maybe because I found the proof, that made him feel he can not continue to hide if we live in the same house.

[MrBond]

"I don't understand why he keeps denying the affair since he wants D? Can anybody help me figure out? Thanks"

Because he's embarrassed by it. So now he is going to make you seem like the devil himself. His ego has been bruised and he feels that he's tried "everything" to make you understand and you haven't listened.

One thing you need to do though is that if he starts talking to you about your "faults", own up to the things that you did do wrong, BUT when he starts saying things that are utterly untrue, hold up your hand and tell him that you love him very much but you WILL NOT be talked to in that way. And then walk away.

[peaceSJ]

Thanks again MrBond. You always give me very helpful insights. When H listed all of my "faults" last night, he even cried. I am also worried about him. His mind seems totally lost...