17 months since B drop. separated. h has been back home 3x's only to last about 2 weeks. I am taking classes. Told h kids and classes are my focus now. D is not just signing some piece of paper. it takes time and energy. We have both seen attorneys H has his 'space' he does what he pleases. he sees the kids on the weekends- mostly just dinner and a movie. I've not made any demands of h. starting to question my standing. thought I was being patient. wondering if I am just a doormat.we are amicable. Really I am sad for H. he won't address depression. he wants to move forward. I will try and link up my previous threads..
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
it means hanging in there. it means giving h time he needs. it means not just throwing in the towel. it means having empathy for h and how he feels at the present moment. not being holier than thou, recognizing his pain. my confusion is on the one hand being patient, on the other...can't even verbalize what is on the other without feeling like its LRT.I mean we are already S. If I'm not patient, then I guess it will be D. I don't know...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Question...Contemplating taking off my ring. Have you taken that step? One the one hand, my ring symbolizes my commitment. on the other, that old marriage is over... Thoughts friends??
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
funny,in the beginning, my h said we were on 2 different paths..I told h , I know what my path is. doing the kids and house. taking care of my family which I love doing! my path included taking my classes, doing good in the community( also which I love doing)My path includes continuing to be the best person that I can be. everyday- following the golden rule. do I always succeed? no, but I know this is how I want to be. , I feel appreciation for the gifts I have been given. Would I like h in the picture, of course I would. can't hate him. could I spew venom? sure I could, but want to be better than that!
Thanks Gabbysmom for the reminder that truly, my path is still the same with or without...I'm off to class!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
this weekend, we will all be at s17 race. s20 coming in from college to watch. I booked a room for d and myself. h booked a room. s20 will stay in room with h. we will most likely have dinner together. h will want to come to my room to to say goodnight to d. ( this is what we did at same race last spring) Ironic, he wants to tuck her in when we are out of town, but not when we are home...I allow it. on another note... I am so excited to see s20. regardless of sit. think the race will be great fun.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. You and I are in similar situations.
My patience is running out...
thought about what gabby said to you about how would your life look different? Well, one BIG thing that is heavy on my mind...I would be with a partner who loves me... DATING. Do you ever have the desire to "close this chapter" so the new one can begin???
The ring--- I took mine off in July. My marriage as a knew it was over and for me it actually felt ODD wearing it any more. Glad I did. Gave me some sense of closure with old M. BUt, everyone is different here. I know ruby threw hers in the ocean!! LOL!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
H stopped by last night. Usually he callas before coming. I was helping d with hw. Had fixed dinner. Offered to h. He declined. Talked about a dr appoint. Makes comment that I want something to happen to him( jokingly...)Asked if I was vengeful. I replied no, I'm not. Wish I would have asked... Why should I be ?or why would you think that?
I am staying busy with my classes. Miss not being able to share about it with h. Sometimes would just like to tell h about my day.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
H stopped by last night. Usually he callas before coming. I was helping d with hw. Had fixed dinner. Offered to h. He declined. Talked about a dr appoint. Makes comment that I want something to happen to him( jokingly...)Asked if I was vengeful. I replied no, I'm not. Wish I would have asked... Why should I be ?or why would you think that?
I am staying busy with my classes. Miss not being able to share about it with h. Sometimes would just like to tell h about my day.
I have been told that it is acceptable, even a good idea, to ask clarifying questions. Sometimes I am so focused on empathizing, I miss opportunities to understand my W better.
I'm with you on missing someone to share my day with. Before BD, we take our conversations for granted, like breathing. I don't think anyone thinks the conversations might end. Only when they are gone does it feel like the oxygen has left the room.
h filed. he came by tonight to tell me after putting d to bed before s17 got home. s20 coming in town tomorrow for s17 race. h said he will tell boys. going to suck for them. court order telling me how I am supposed to behave. Ha! they misbehave and them tell us what to do. I didn't cry. just said sorry he felt this way.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
giving it over to God. maybe I am in shock state. I don't know. look at d sleeping and s17 just came in and know I have the prize.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
