@Spartan - mostly because when I lost it, it really hurt her feelings. Maybe other feelings came into play; maybe "end" of our marriage to go with it? I dunno. EVERY once in awhile, something just feels 'right' to me, even after thinking about it.
@2nd - I appreciate it. I really have only seen W once in 3 weeks, so I'm not sure it's something I have to worry about .
@Wonka - I'm the type that believes you ARE married until you sign divorce papers, although I fully understand when people talk about their M being "dead". So, I'm probably leaning toward wearing it because of what it meant to her.
The conversation got even weirder. Later on: W: "I love you, but I don't have warm feelings." Me: "Well that stands to reason since we've barely seen each other or spoken for 2 months, and the times we have spoken typically haven't been very nice at all." W: "Well, I love my dad, but I would never be around him, or let him hurt me again." Me: "I'm not your dad, and you've never been able to stand your dad for more than a few hours at a time, but you and I have a good time almost every time we're together." (That wasn't very validating, but it exposes her daddy issues for sure, and how she connects them to me.) W: "Well, there still aren't much emotions."
(Interrupted myself to send a picture of a margarita, W's favorite drink, as I was out with friends) Me: "Don't b jealous." I have no idea why I did this!
I probably then broke every DB rule in the book, but it felt exactly right, I dunno why:
Me "I understand that you don't feel much emotions right now, but emotions are fleeting, and can change based on whether someone get a good night's sleep. If you are 'done', we'll take the kids out for a nice breakfast, and we can tell them that you've decided to finalize the divorce, and it'll be done in a few months. If so, I will not be contacting you again, and I will wish you the very best in life. If you decide that's not what you want, you know where I stand and how I feel. Have a great night."
Now, I'm going out with ANOTHER friend to watch a football game for a little bit. My GALing is full steam ahead.
To be completely honest, when W initially said she didn't want to wait for a continuance, for about 60 seconds, I was a bit knotted up, then realized it was OK. I have had a total blast the last couple of weeks, and every day I have thought less and less about W, and the stomach knot has continued to loosen. She does not control who I am, doesn't make my happiness, doesn't "complete" me. I would love to have her as a part of my life, but if not, time to move on.
