Since you went away....

[RosaLinda]

Snodderly "If this isn't a bust on a fantasy, I don't know what is. I'm praying that things will die a natural death and the RT goes back into the woodwork."

Thank you Snodderly. I am also hoping this relationship is over soon. It is horribly destructive and I cannot understand it except to shrug and chalk it up to MLC. 

On the way to H's tests on the tumor in his stomach (they were fine, no cancer) H told me that he feels horribly ill again with his same symptoms  - fatigue, dizziness, nausea and horrific headaches. He says he was sick in bed much of the last week of his trip, and had to take his narcotic pain killers to be able to function the rest of the time. He was already sick and the dental extraction has just made things worse. 

He was hoping he had stomach cancer (WTF?!) but now thinks he has lymes encephalitis again. I agree that his lymes disease is out of control again, but if he would take his antibiotics instead of fermented oatmeal, he would feel better. 

Now RT wants him to go to a famous health clinic in Korea to get diagnosed. Korea!!! He has a diagnosis - he has frigging lymes and a bunch of other serious diagnoses, if she would lay off him maybe he would take the antibiotics and his heart medication. 

I wish RT would "go back into the woodwork" like you said Snodderly. Their relationship defies reason. I am trying to validate H but this is only his first full day back home and already my head is spinning at his revelations. Simply unbelievable. 

Heather "I will have this image in my head today. Thank you for that. I'm sure all these MLC-ers have insane moments like these, but we just don't hear about them. Finally, a glimpse into MLC-land!"

Between my H's insane revelations and those of the friend I visited in England, my head is aching Heather. It is difficult to refrain from screeching "are you F-ing kidding me?" and validate instead. As I sit quietly, he is revealing more, which I will duly report for your listening pleasure!

FY "It doesn't sound like H had a romantic time fixing toilets in a dumpy one bedroom apartment with 3 women! Maybe now he'll better appreciate his comfortable home with his faithful and loving W. 
Did he show you any pictures? Did he ask about your trip?"

I think fixing the toilets and all made him feel useful, FY. In fact, he told me today that he didn't even like Moscow, it was crowded and dirty, but he did enjoy seeing the people, stores, transportation system, and fixing up RT's flat. As uRw would say, he felt like he was saving RT and her mom. And liked it. So his trip didn't make him appreciate me or our home at all, not that one could tell anyway. The only photo he showed me was of RT's mother cooking. He was very interested in my trip, maybe it makes him feel less guilty?

Nero "sorry as can be that the outcome was not something wonderful- on the other hand, glad to hear it's not something "terrible"  

Hi Nero! You're right - it's not terrible. Just more of the same. Or less of the same maybe. I cannot figure them out. WHY would RT's mother charge her daughter's "boyfriend" (that is what RT calls him and it alternately makes me sick and laugh - how can a married 60 year old man be anyone's BOYfriend??) $500 to stay at her crappy flat, especially after he did all those repairs? Unbelievable!

H also told me that he is angry with RT because she asked his advice about buying a car, and then he learned she had also later asked advice of a few other men. Actually the phrase he used is "I hope the car blows up in her face." Yup, me too H. Me too. 

Nero "i do not know today how or why i am in this sitch/life still. well, do not mean dying - don't want to do that. just cannot imagine really that anything will EVER change- ....."  

Well my friend, I'm not sure either, but will tell you this, it is NOT because of anything we did wrong. Have faith Nero, it will get better. I trust it will get better and our crazy Hs will go back to normal. I cannot promise it, but do believe it. Why else would your H keep flying in to NJ to spend time with you? It's crazy, so he must love you, feel connected to you. Otherwise why do it?

rH "Some of the realities for your H were a bit startling! 
I'm so sorry nothing has changed in your sitch. Sometimes it is so discouraging to know limbo continues. You mean, we continue on this way? 
Do take care of yourself. Do insist on the best treatment for your eyes. I know you will."  

Quite startling indeed rH. And these are just his revelations from H's first day. I anticipate more idiotic disclosures in the near future

I read the timeline you posted on your thread today, thanks for that. It gives so many of us hope!!

I saw my eye surgeon. He said the "looking thru dirty eyeglasses" sensation is due to clouding of the back of the old lens, which they leave in as a handy shelf to hold the new lens in place. Not uncommon, and he will treat it with a laser in 2 more months. And the blurred vision and flashes are due to swelling. I'm back on drops three times daily, but it should all clear up soon. Within 2 weeks. Heard that before

So, all in all, things are pretty good here. No new BD, which I'd sort of expected (I know Cadet, I know...) RT is still firmly in H's life, but he has already contacted two of his other language exchange partners, with whom he has not spoken in months. Normal friends, whose emails H reads to me. That sounds hopeful. Back to DBing. I missed him like crazy, but it was nice to be able to relax and just be myself for a month. And now I know that if H does leave me for some Russian tramp, I would eventually be okay. Eventually!