I'm just left wondering what, if any, role that plays in my own determinations. I don't feel depression gives H a pass on his behaviors, but I don't know what my role as wife, as "life partner" requires here. I believe I am required to take care of myself, and of H. But you know what, allowing H's behaviors to continue unchecked takes care of neither of us. Heaven knows we (humankind we) resist change and only do so when forced. If H never faces the consequences of his actions he has no reason to change.
I am left wondering this as well. I can understand that depression plays a role and in that way, I can more easily forgive the "little things", the small thoughtless things. But I struggle with what feels to me, like giving him a pass when sometimes I want to sit in front of me and let me yell at him until I can't yell anymore. Like I would want to with anyone who had hurt me.
The interesting bit is that after I finish yelling, I am not at all sure what would happen then. I do not believe we should allow ourselves to be abused and that includes when we get to the end of our ropes. If he is refusing to change after serious discussions with you (like the warning we never had), there are consequences. They risk losing us.
Jaye, I find myself quite reflective these days, now that the drama of the rollercoaster is on a plateau. It shouldn't be hard to know what I want, but I am finding it is.
As long as you are still "thinking" and deciding what is best for you, it seems that you are in control of the timing. Control, that I like!
