In a recent fight, H told me he didn't feel appreciated for the things he does and at first I said I didn't feel loved or appreciated either.
Just to expand on this a little more, in 5LL it talks about how many couples have completely depleted "love tanks", but instead of one taking the initiative to fill the other's, they both sit around waiting and waiting and waiting for their spouse to fill theirs. So there they both sit, waiting, with nothing happening, until one of them finally says "enough" and BD's the other. The whole premise of 5LL is to quit waiting, take the initiative and fill your spouse's love tank. Set aside your pride and ego and be the one to take charge. When you fill your spouse's love tank, you will be surprised to find that they in turn will WANT to fill yours. Read the book again, stop the "nagging" (I know you don't think you are, but that's the way it looks to him) and start filling his love tank through ACTIONS rather than trying to tell him to fill yours. You can do this
