Apart from if I'm having a bad day, lol. Today was another drama! I rang up the person I needed to speak to about this business enterprise scheme and I've got an appt next Friday. That's the good news, the bad news is that the girl who owns the hairdressers may have someone else who's interested in the salon and she can do 5 days or more I can't compete with that, I'm at college for 3 days! I met with my friend for a costa, then went home and H turned up. Talk about Mr Happy, he was so miserable today! I felt like saying to him if you're going to be miserable, don't bother coming round! I did call him Mr Happy though Anyway, he went on again about me calling him a bas**** and a pig to my mum. I said I'm not going to say that as I don't think he is. He says that he needs my mum to pay me to D him! He says he wants it sorting out as he's not going to live in a one bedroomed apartment for the rest of his life! I didn't answer this, I just stayed quiet. I don't want to D him, I'm not emotionally ready and I've got too much going on in my life without having to go through the courts over this house. He thinks he's entitled to half the house, but I know different It's not going to make any difference to his pay check at the end of the day because I don't think he'll get half the house! He can't afford to D me and if he does I can turn round to his lawyer and say that I'm not ready so he'll be wasting his money anyway. Does anyone know what I can say to him or do about it? I'm really getting fed up with this!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hmmmm, that is a tough nut... Not your H - the sitch!
When it rains, it pours, huh? Why can't troubles arrive on a schedule, and one at a time, so we can deal with them properly.
You kind of answered your own question. You don't have to help him do something you don't want, and you sure don't have to pay for it! Let him stew on that in his tiny flat.
When I was getting it hot and heavy from my W about separating finances and stuff, I just ignored it or validated the feelings but didn't necessarily respond.
Of course, we did all this via text, so it was easier to be brave and calm - although I still failed, time and again!
You kind of answered your own question. You don't have to help him do something you don't want, and you sure don't have to pay for it! Let him stew on that in his tiny flat.
MH is right. It was his choice to move out, you didn't throw him out. Let him figure things out for himself. The only ultimatum I have ever given my H was that if he wanted to end our M, he would have to do it because it's not what I want and I wasn't about to do anything to end it.
All you need to do is whatever is needed to protect you and your son.
You can do this TTD .
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Trying, If you want to give me a recap of your story and where you are now and concerns that would be great, otherwise I'll read your threads soon and get back with you.
Please don't think I have the answers just because of the turn in my sitch, but I am happy to give you my two cents.
Books... I'll make a list when I get home lol too many to remember, but codependent no more is always a good one.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Thanks both of you I can always rely on you both to lift up my spirits and give me a foam 2x4 if needed I don't really want to say anything to him, so I'll just have to ignore him Like MH said, let him stew in his tiny appt I'm sure he's not really suffering, he's got his female friends now Also when I asked him about picking my son up on Sunday, he said I'll have to see what I'm doing. Maybe I'll just go ahead and make other arrangements for me and my son to do something on Sunday instead. Yes at the mo I do think he's being a B and a pig, but I'm not going to tell my mum that!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks for your input JP My original thread is located here - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...093#Post2360093 I know you haven't got all the answers, but one day I'd quite like to be where you are now and I also need to develop myself by reading self help books that focus on me and not my sitch all the time
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Trying is there a OW? Still reading, just didn't think there was then saw something that said there was, but wasn't sure.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I can't compete with that, I'm at college for 3 days!
