Hmmmm, that is a tough nut... Not your H - the sitch!
When it rains, it pours, huh? Why can't troubles arrive on a schedule, and one at a time, so we can deal with them properly.
You kind of answered your own question. You don't have to help him do something you don't want, and you sure don't have to pay for it! Let him stew on that in his tiny flat.
When I was getting it hot and heavy from my W about separating finances and stuff, I just ignored it or validated the feelings but didn't necessarily respond.
Of course, we did all this via text, so it was easier to be brave and calm - although I still failed, time and again!
