1. How do I prepare myself for seeing the wife and her family at my sons 21st at the end of the month? Especially when I don't get any practice at this. My personal view is act neighbourly, if asked mention I do not want to discuss anything apart from how are you, and that reply will always be "great". But I know my emotions will be hard to control outwardly, not anger emotion more tearing up emotion.
Prepare by doing mental exercise visioning you doing great at the party! Psycho Cybernetics contains a lot on this subject. Stay away from the alcohol Be rested - sleep Exercise before the party. Practice smiling until the smile stays on your face. Plan a little ahead so you know who you will seek out and address. Leave early but not to early. I teach salespeople about the 4 times 20 because first impressions last. Focus on and practice: The top 20 cm (your head): Make it neat and put a smile on it, nod when people talks….. The first 20 words: Practise them!! Practice answers for “How are you” What have you been up to” and other ice-breaking questions and so on. What will you ask people about? The first 20 paces: Walk tall, confident and not around in the corners The first 20 sec: The time it takes people to make their picture of you! Focus on this everytime you greet a new person.
Still remember to be HWA! Don’t change you – just show the best part!
I agree on the neighborly but I don’t think you should actually say “I don’t want to discuss……” – just don’t do it! Shift the subject! Your emotions should be stoved away on this occasion and I know this one will be hard on you – but you can do it!
Originally Posted By: HWA
2 when should I tell the boys about my transfer? At this stage I haven't because the wife will then probably find out, and while it shouldn't change anything, I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach about her finding out could cause issues.
You fear these issues so much that you haven’t shared this major thing with your sons???? Why is that? – I would say tell them now! What are these issues you fear? What do you fear the most: Issues from W or you son asking you “Dad, why didn’t you want to share this with me?”
About the FWB I agree with others and you: You do not seem ready for this. Wonka hit the nail perfectly IMO. On the other hand keep on seeing her and enjoy the time and company.
Originally Posted By: HWA
Still disappointed either didn't ask about me, the holiday in Melbourne or even if I am transferring.
Boy’s 18y and 20y – why would they? They properly even don’t remember that you have applied. You are the farther – show them the high road!
Pulling!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
