Ambivalent, what are you suggesting as a "last resort"? It seems I've tried a number of "last resorts" with no luck. Our efforts have improved other aspects of our marriage, but it's still as if sex had never been invented.
The big question now is, how do I motivate her? She has come to think of sex as a waste of time. Even when we had sex on a regular basis, she wanted to hurry it up after a few minutes, and she complained I wanted it too often.
That is, I can't figure out any way to get her to want to want. When a wife buys her husband centerfold magazines to keep him "occupied" so he won't harass her for sex, you have a wife who is not motivated to even want to be sexual as I see it. Perhaps she thinks it's just all about the orgasm for me. She's never had one herself, so perhaps she's missing that perspective.
She does recall how her brothers had centerfold magazines when they were teens, and they survived their high school years just fine without regular sexual partners. So I guess she figures I should be able to "survive" the same way now.
I guess it does make some twisted logical sense that it is easier for me to "survive" this way than it would be for her to work through her issues. And consider that even if a woman works through her issues, it still doesn't guarantee that her sexual desire will be restored.
