Need advice and friends

[RSmiles]

Hi everyone!

I'm not new here, however I haven't been on the boards for several years. I remembered that DB was such a wonderful place, so I feel good to be coming back and hope to make new friends.

My story in a nutshell:
I came here during a separation in my first M, and ended up reconciling after DB. I worked so hard! However, ultimately my exH did not want a relationship or to "be tied down" and I went through a D in 2007. I see now it was to my benefit, because he lost his love for me and I deserve better than that.

Fast-forward a couple years and I moved 2,000 miles across the country to start a new life. I love my new city, and I have family here too. I met a new man, we dated 3 yrs and then we eloped 6 months ago.

Things were going fairly well at first, but now we have communication troubles and lots of criticism, blame and misunderstandings keep ensuing. I feel scared that it is getting like this so soon in our relationship. I feel stuck about what to do. His words and actions make me feel unsupported and unloved. Our communication level is low and somewhat superficial. For example, he falls asleep when I am talking. He's not very interested in the things I am doing anymore. He turns a deaf ear when I am talking half the time and doesn't respond. He often forgets to tell me things until the last second or after the fact. He yells at me that he thinks there is no problem, why do I have any problems? Actually, he thinks I'm the one who has all the problems. Neither of us is talking about a D, but I want to prevent a downspiral and that's why I'm here. To remember DB and take some of those steps again.

Basically, I have tried many times to talk to him and connect but he gets angry and shuts down. On my worst days, I fear I chose the wrong person so that I would not be lonely forever. But then I wonder maybe that there is no such "right" person that really understands my feelings or that maybe I should just expect to solve my martial problems by talking to girlfriends? Is it so wrong of me to want emotional intimacy and real conversations? My H gets angry if I talk about my feelings and ignores me.

I need to re-read the book