Who knew I would be back here after a six year absence. A lot has happened in those six years - ex-wife had several relationships - I had several relationships - kids decided that they did not want to see me anymore 4-5 years ago - alimony came to an end two years ago but still paying child support.
So why do I find myself back here after six years? That is a question that I am embaresed to answer; I did not take what I learned to heart nor did I continue to change. Basically fell back to my same old ways and boy did I pay for it again.
I started dating about six months after my divorce back in March 2006. Met several great woman but found myself attracted to one in particular who was divorced one month after me; she had two kids and so did I. That lasted about 3 months and ended when she realized she was devoting more time to us than her kids. I saw the end coming and prepared myself using DB techniques and that was that.
Met several other woman and had some nice dates but not a whole lot of chemistry. Then I met a woman who I shall call L. All I remember was seeing L sitting at the bar waiting for me to arrive. She looked great and we actually hit it off right away. I had no idea what was in store for me, but L surely did. Ended up at her place and had sex that night; a first for me on the dating circuit. Turns out that all L wanted was a fling and I had no issues with. That came to an end after about 3 months. L said it seemed like a relationship and want ed to end it so I left and cut all contact. Well she called 3-4 months later and we got together just as friends. Then no contact for another 4 months when L reached out again. This time we went back to her place and it as obvious where that was going. This time I wanted no part of that after she told me about what she had been up to. I basically ran out of there as fast as could. That was the end of L early 2008.
In mid 2009 a coworker introduced me to an old GF, a nice woman from Togo who was a single mother, and we dated for awhile. She came across as way too needy for and I was not attracted to her as a result. Although she was a great person and mother. I told her this and also that I had no romantic intentions with her, but she kept pursuing.
This is about the time I stopped dating and just started to do things myself. However they were not things I should have been doing like completing my degree and then following up with my Masters. In 2010 my car loan was paid off and then in 2011 alimony came to an end. I had excess cash and started to travel, redid my wardrobe in preparation to do some serious dating and just enjoyed myself. No serious dating happened though. Probably due to my carefree attitude.
Then the fateful day of my reckoning came although I did not know it at the time. The day was Thursday evening, March 28, 2013. I had worked the night before and woke up around 4 PM - had my coffee while watching CNBC - went out and did some errands - went for my workout at the YMCA. It was a drizzly evening about 40 F and I felt like going to my favorite place for a bowl of chili and a beer. I did not even go home to shower and change. Just went in shorts, t-shirt and my olive green sweatshirt that has "Canada" written on the front. I walked in just before 9 PM and there were not many people at the bar (Joe's Bar and Grille for those interested).
As I walk in I scope out the scene for a free seat. That night I chose the left end. One seat away was a blonde who looked a little too young for me, wearing glasses and drinking a martini; I will call her A. The bartender was a Brazilian woman I will call C. I have know C for at least 4 year at that point and started talking with her and so did the blonde. Cutting to the chase the blonde and I start talking and she lets me know how old she by telling me what year she graduated from high school (she is 46 and I was 50, now 51). She talks about her trip to Egypt back in 2005 to which I thought "Wow this is an adventurous woman". I told her about my trip to Iceland last year etc. She then tells me she studied Physics and I was most interested. The clincher came when I told her that I studied Biochemistry (true but did not finish) and was working on my MS in Bioimformatics (false). We talked till closing time 11PM and exchanged numbers. We met that Saturday night and hit it off right away and had an awesome time.
So right away you can see where this is going right? Why did I lie to her right from the start? Why do men lie to women they meet? The ones that do, myself included, do so to impress and that is pretty darn sad when you think about it. Boy am I regretting it now, cause I soon found out I did not need to do that and that is why I am back. She was actually interested in me for me.
It ended two weeks ago and realized then that had I continued to be a DBer it would be going on right now. Had I continued to make the changes and better myself - finish my degree and be working on the MS - we would be together enjoying a most joyous relationship. The one I have been looking for these past 8 years. So...now I have decided to start over from square one and do those things I should have done years ago. It was an old DBer from my first time here who has motivated me. He went by the handle of TwinDragons and has made enormous progress from those days.
Now I would appreciate a good hard slap in the face for being such an idiot...
