Learning to detach

[Whiterose]

I had to call S14's school today to see if H had made arrangements to have him go onto bursary but no he bounced the cheque and never contacted the school. Of course, the school called him to discuss options, went to voicemail, and this was the text message exchange (I did call after his intosl message to have an actual conversation but it also went to voice mail)

OK not sure if you have figured it out yet or not but I have not and will not be paying anything until we sort stuff out i have too many things to pay and I'm starting with nothing your unwillingness to make this work has forced to do this I need to be able to have a home feed myself and have transportation for work which includes gas and insurance and I'm now way behind with bill payments as well as getting phone calls for payments you were suppose to be making.

My response
Considering you're the one that left, maybe it's not my unwillingness but your inability to have made the appropriate plans before going that has created a situation where you are unable to care for your children's needs and lash out at the woman who is ensuring their well being.

As I said in our phone conversation of a few weeks ago what you do with your money is your business but your needs do not negate the needs of our boys. You, also, cannot take for granted that I am in a position to do everything for our boys financially. If you are unable to pay then you, as his father, should recognize S14 is an extremely fragile state and that pulling him out of school is not a sound option, gone to the school and made arrangements that work for you and our son.

While you are concerned with your groceries, gas, bills and lodging I am concerned for that of our boys. Please, don't confuse their needs as solely my own. You needed to leave, that's fine I'm not stopping you or disagreeing, but we still need to provide for our children in a way that lessens the impact for them emotionally and physically. I am here, willingly, to provide as much as I can while you work through your changes


Up until now you've made very little opportunity to discuss the best plan of action for them When you're available to have a conversation about our boys and the best way to support them together please feel free to give me a call

His response
As per the norm you do very little listening with lots of opinions I will not be putting any money towards anything until you move forward I have to pay my past due bills so I can continue to go to work and eat.

My response
Would you like me to explain the repercussions to our sons or would you prefer to?

I haven't heard anything back yet even though his initial response was within 5 minutes

I KNOW I probably said everything wrong but holy crap!!!! Uggg. So upset right now