Struggling!

[Ambivalent]

OOOOOkay, I've been reading this for awhile and I'm going to chime in for what it's worth.

I am/was LD. I am aware of what caused it , more than one issue. One was how I felt in the relationship, two was I couldn't climax with husband, and three I had to open myself up and be responsible for my climax AND getting "prepared" to feel desire.

This IS a lot with which to deal...I have made and am currently making a conscious effort to do this. WHY?

Because I vowed to keep myself only unto him, and I expect the same. It would not be loving, fair, or respectful to not work on myself.

Was/is this easy? NOOOOOO...It can be embarrassing, and very uncomfortable, but THAT is NO excuse. I LOVE my husband, and he deserves better. From me, from marriage and from life.

You are more than welcome to share this with your wife. I'm 53 and have been though many awakenings and epiphany's about this.

If this was okay for you SSMguy, then it is a whole different matter. Yeah aversion was there for me, due to pressure and then perceived pressure. It is a real libido killer. So is lack of time with your spouse. The type of time where all we do is cuddle, look each other in the eyes and relate. Bad breath, and oral hygiene are a real deal breaker and it is very hard to say that to a spouse, when you know it will hurt or offend them.

So again, if you are struggling due to lack of sexual intimacy, a last resort may just be the thing to jolt her out of her comfort zone. It jolted me and to be honest, I'm kind of glad it did.

I've learned a lot about myself physically, and am dying to try some things with my husband. Heh heh heh >;}