chicken or egg?

[chasingpavements]

Hi etc, sorry to hear you are feeling down. Stay strong, keep your head up and keep on DB'ing.

I was again baited into another long discussion with W about our issues.

.
I think you are getting too involved with her, and she is causing you all sorts of worry. I know it is hard, but try to detach, as you are feeling every rocky bump of her journey.

W complained that she needs me to give her more emotional support in dealing with the kids, which is understandable. How do I effectively do this while we're no longer M? She's upset that they don't like going to her place.

I can see how your W is upset. Understandably, because the children are not wanting to go over to visit her at the moment. That would be hurtful. Separation can be so hard on children, and confusing to them. If it was me in your shoes, I would make a counseling appointment with your children to attend, so that you could sit down with you counselor and the children and work through some of this issues as a family. The counselor could help in many ways, and it would help the children to better understand the situation and how to cope with everything.

W went to the IC who has been good at validating all her decisions. I guess they think the reason one D is having such trouble is not really because of the S, but because D has an untreated mental issue that comes from my family. W claims that I have the same issue and this has been the cause of all her misery. I told her that she shouldn't go around diagnosing people and I'm seeing an IC to deal with my own problems, so she shouldn't feel responsible for my emotional health.

If she has a health concern about your D, I would not write it
off. It is possible that she is having medical issues that need to be looked at. Of course, though, you cannot write off the fact that the separation has anything to do with it. Children notice these kinds of things. Family counseling would also help with that.

MLC is a real bugger.

I agree!

Take care, etc.