thanks bug. yesterday was a good day. should be enough to last me through the crappy ones until the next good day comes. i have realized im the most happy when im doing the family thing. it may be a broken family, but its what i have and it works. not perfect, but really good. days like that get me dreaming things again. dreaming of a real family and all that. plus my friend got married in vegas last night and i watched the wedding last night online. just those sad reminders of what could have been. oh well. my life is what it is and im suprisingly ok with it.
will wonders never cease... my ex is still a nut job. i was doing my homework last night round midnight and y facebook goes off with notifications. so i checked. here is my "son"posting all sorts of comments about how i was never there etc.. i knew right away it wasnt him. i know how he types(much better than me btw) and know he would never say that stuff. i asked her to please stay off my FB. she is blocked and has been for a long time. she then FB messages me under his account talkin all sorts of nonsense. told her to leave me alone. i shouldnt have posted as my status that i have a crazy ex wife creeping my FB and posting stuff pretending to be my son. but i did .. not proud of myself on that one. so 2 hrs later she decides to chime in about how she is totally right in what she is doing and my friends who think it to be inappropiate are bad people. wow....
i have since deleted the post. i do not want my son to have to deal with this. it is so not fair to him. it makes me sad to know that this is who is raising him and teaching hi right from wrong. i just hope the little time i have with my kids will be enough to counteract her teachings. i believe i am a good person and know right from wrong.
That really suucks Clay. It saddens me when a parent can't see how their vindictive behaviour effects their child. She wants to hate you, that's fine but she still needs to act like a responsible parent! Sorry you have to deal with this sh!t.
i was thinking about maybe stalking or something. psyche eval is good too. i tried to delete his FB account tonight. password is changed. he doesnt deserve this. he is such a good boy and follows the rules. he likes posting stuff for his family to see. and she ruins it. and then blames me.
my heart hurts. ive been sad all day. i actually cried a little bit on my run tonight. it is not cool. i dont cry. ever. the worst part is, i have no idea where this came from. totally blindsided. i feel like i just got checked from behind and my head slammed into the boards. in fact i would rather have that happen. then only my body hurts. that i can deal with.
i do want my kids to think of her as a good mom. they deserve that. they have an addict/alcoholic for a dad. the least they deserve is a good mom. all i know is that one day i will be able to save them. might not be today or tomorrow. one day i will. i am a warrior. i always have been. i dont know the meaning of quit. ive always been on the small side. my coaches loved me because i played bigger than everyone. i have heart. and that is about all i have most days. the unwillingness to give up.
thank you for your kind words. congrats on the new kuerig. i think it looks nice on the microwave. makes total sense to me
Crying is cleansing Clay. It hits hard when something is effecting our kids and we feel helpless. Let 'em flow once in a while. Real men do cry...just not in front of each other lol
thanks gineen. i dont define myself as an addict/alcoholic. the courts and her lawyer do that for me. i see it as a blessing though. just like going through a rotten divorce. these things have shown me what im made of. i have learned alot about myself and continue to do so.
and yeah.. she is a touch wacky..lol
crying is really awkward for me. the cleansing feels good though i guess. and dont worry, im not gonna cry at the construction site! lol.. ive never had anyone hold me while i cried. ever. that would be different? idk what to think about that. i havent been held by anyone since i was a little little child.
and on to the more important stuff.. hockey! my red wings are on fire. playin good. won in OT tonight. no shootout like you devils tho! the aberdeen wings lost tonight. was a great game! i love junior hockey. and you are right all will be well. there is no place i feel more peaceful than the rink. then the energy comes and i love it. ahhhhh hockey.
so i had my kids for a few hours last night. it was fun like usual. my son asks me when i am picking him up from the Y on friday. i said around 5:30 when im done with work. its gonna be a long day he says. i dont have school. i said im sorry buddy.. maybe you can stay home with mom. i cant, she has to work... when did she get a job i asked. (inappropriate, i know) she works for ------ dad... she has for a long time.. i said cool and changed the subject.
here's the goofy part. the name he said is the place that "let her go at the beginnig of april because of all the problems that i cause her". 2 weeks before april 15. she is an accountant and tax preparer. makes me wonder if she is working for cash and its not being reported. if thats the case, her and her lawyer completely lied under oath at our child support hearing. i dont know if it is true... it just has that feeling that something is going on. i've had that feeling for a long time. the amount of bills she has just to live are almost triple what she reported her income as.. who knows.. another day in my stupid life.
.. not proud of myself on that one. so 2 hrs later she decides to chime in about how she is totally right in what she is doing and my friends who think it to be inappropiate are bad people. wow....