Ugh. I was doing great, being dim for the past several days, getting along in life, kids seem happy staying with me but miss their mom of course and then I was again baited into another long discussion with W about our issues.
W complained that she needs me to give her more emotional support in dealing with the kids, which is understandable. How do I effectively do this while we're no longer M? She's upset that they don't like going to her place.
W went to the IC who has been good at validating all her decisions. I guess they think the reason one D is having such trouble is not really because of the S, but because D has an untreated mental issue that comes from my family. W claims that I have the same issue and this has been the cause of all her misery. I told her that she shouldn't go around diagnosing people and I'm seeing an IC to deal with my own problems, so she shouldn't feel responsible for my emotional health. I was again tempted into reasoning with W b/c she doesn't think the S is a root cause of D's mental anguish but that this was all bound to happen regardless. When I try to just listen, W asks why I'm so quiet (a 180 for me) and I say I'm just listening. Is she expecting to get more of a rise out of me? I'm pretty calm during these discussions, but I'm certainly not afraid to challenge her when I disagree. Sometimes I say too much - I need to work on this.
Older Ds continue to be angry that they can't see both of their parents every day. Is there a solution for this? W doesn't seem to want to work out a schedule that would allow for this. They think W has been feigning her love for them since this whole ordeal began. I'm caught in the middle, but I encourage them to love their mom no matter what.
When I go to sleep at night I just wish that everyone in our family could learn to love each other again. I feel that all this psychobabble has gotten us all into a tangled mess. I even told W last night that kids just need love right now. She insists they need to get into counseling ASAP so their not afraid to stay with her. I told her I'd look into it, but kids said they don't want to go.
MLC is a real bugger.
ETC
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
