Living My Life

[willbwell]

GT, some days I seem so patient, other days not. I know I deserve someone to be over the moon for me! last fall I went on a dating site and went on a few dates( I know not DB) I know I was doing this because my self esteem took such a hit by h's A. I needed to remember that I was desirable. It was fun but I knew (and that time) I would drop any date(r) like a hot potato if h came back around.

I am not getting any younger. I too question what I am doing. I wish I could just wake up and know!! I do know I want a partner to spend life with!

H is friendly to me. I am friendly back. friendly meaning polite...I get 0 from h in terms of emotional connection. When he is here at house, I think seems sourpuss, and really I feel sad for him. We have such great kids and a great home.That he didn't /couldn't enjoy this...

H had taken off his ring last March after a big blowup from me- put it back on when he came home early july(he was out again 2 weeks later) it is still on but really it doesn't mean anything. it's been on the whole time of A.

My s20 has been most bothered by sit. He notices these things like the ring. He has struggled with his own feeling of the whole sit. We will all be together this weekend for s17 race.
Booked in same hotel. D and I one room. H and s in another.

so today, my ring is on. I do feel like if under God's grace we R, he would need to buy me a new one. Perhaps I will give it until the end of the year. Still don't want D, but do know I can't stay in this limbo forever. I do want a partner . Glad there are the dating sites for the 50's crowd. I don't want to compete with 30 year olds!