Well its been a crazy few weeks since the first post in the thread. I'd pretty much gotten either the silent treatment, or a round about way of her playing the blame game on me more. Not sure she even realizes what she says half the time, and how hurtful it can be because of it. I've really learned to listen to what's being said, but more importantly whats NOT being said and how much that counts towards the big picture.
You learn to be patient, you learn to be supportive, you learn to detach and let them have their journey. I'm there, and have no regrets on how I've handled things this last 9 months. I've been furthering my education, taking cooking and dance classes, stepped up as a father and not judged either way in the process.
I feel comfortable in my own skin, and know I've put in every effort possible, there is nothing more I could do but sit back and hope she came out of her own fog. I was honest with myself to a fault. I didn't wait, but I didn't reach out in a way i'd have regrets later (dating). Its her that needs to put in the work now, and she's just not willing to do that, even for herself, which was all I wanted, even if the marriage didn't make it.
So to make a short story long, an old friend contacted me today. She was never that kind of friend !! But wow, was it so nice to have a conversation and not be judged, to not have to worry about saying the wrong thing (I know crazy, but I've intentionally stayed away from females). She said she was coming to town soon and wanted to catch up a little after 24 years, guess she saw my facebook photo and asked herself why she never jumped on me in the first place, lol. I told her I wasn't in a place that I could give more than just some good conversation, but was looking forward to it. I think its perfect, she lives far away, so I cant jump into anything. I'm not ready anyway. But theres such a huge relief knowing someone can be attracted to you in a way that really makes you feel like you can move on one way or the other finally.
Its like a giant weight has lifted off your soul. We chatted on the phone for an hour while she was at work, then she needed to look not so obvious and we switched to texting for a couple more hours till her phone died. Said she'll call me soon as she gets home. I'm actually looking forward to just talking.
