WOW! just wow. I am so happy today. W and I had another great counseling session today. I cant believe the progress we have made. She even talked about renewing our vows today. The has finally learned to open up and let her emotions and feelings out. The communication between us has never been better. In one conversation today before we even went to MC she stated that she is happy how it all worked out. And even though it was painful experience for all, it seems like this needed to happen to beoome stronger. She said that it never would have worked when we first separated because she didn't want it to work and she didn't believe that therapy could help anyways. She had been to therapists before and nothing seemed to change she said. She now admits that you have to want to change things. She said that it was only after several months that she really wanted to try because she felt I had really changed as a person and it made her start looking at herself. In MC today I heard the best thing up to this point. She said to MC, "Things have been great over the last couple weeks. I knew we wouldnt get a divorce if we both worked on staying together, but now I am realizing we can actually be happy again in doing so. I am beginning to fall in love with cbtdad again" Very good day!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Great news CBT! You have done a great job and a lot of hard work, you should be proud of yourself for keeping it together until W was ready to join you in your personal growth.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
Thanks JP and LTH! Still a long way to go. Like our MC said yesterday we have come a long way, but we are just now hitting phase 1. The anger is gone and so it has allowed us to move forward
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
CBT, thanks so much for continuing to post, too many people disappear when they get to piecing! I think they're afraid they'll jinx themselves by talking about it, or maybe they think their DB'ing is officially over. But it gives great insight for those of us that aren't there yet.
Originally Posted By: cbtdad
She said that it never would have worked when we first separated because she didn't want it to work and she didn't believe that therapy could help anyways. She had been to therapists before and nothing seemed to change she said. She now admits that you have to want to change things. She said that it was only after several months that she really wanted to try because she felt I had really changed as a person and it made her start looking at herself.
^^^ This is really great info from the viewpoint of your reformed WAS, it helps to explain why some of the DB'ing advice we give works even though it seems counterintuitive.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
