Are you doing the things you want to do to be the person you want to be?
Tough love has it's place but has to be used carefully when trying to reconcile. Needs to come from a place of love and self respect. It also needs to come with patience because you have to give your partner time and space to (hopefully) grow and learn by trial and error.
The book BD recommended is all about gaining your self confidence back. I lost mine after BD in a bad way. I really struggled with boundaries and following through on things I stated if boundaries were crossed. Have you guys clearly discussed boundaries and consequences if they were crossed? Not saying you even need to yet, just curious.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
