on the edge...

[dingo]

so time and space, but stick up for myself. How do I give her time and space, knowing that that results in spending time with OM? Then she comes home and I am supposed to keep things light and easy and not talk about the affair or the relationship. One of the things that she complained about our marriage was that I didnt help enough in the kitchen. So I have been making an extra effort to keep it clean. She comes home after her time and space, the kitchen is clean, the dishes are done and she has zero accountability. How do i give her time and space and also maintain accountability??

how do i do that while still living in the same home, while still sleeping in the same bed, while still doing 70-80% of our activities together?

We cant afford for either of us to move out. I could go stay at my mom's but i dont really feel good about being the one that has to leave. I could ask her to stay with some of her friends but that will almost certainly result in staying with OM - do i set that possibility up?

I could sleep in the guest bedroom

Do I start doing the things that we always did together without her? What if she asks to come along (she always does)? Do I tell her she can't come along? That always raises more questions in her that she accuses me of lying about when i answer.

I do plenty of my own thing- with friends, by myself. That has never been the problem. I feel like I can't its impossible to get out of each others way right now...