My wife of 4years left the house 6 weeks ago. The 2nd day she called me saying she wanted divorce. I pleaded and she agreed to counseling and seeing our priest. She ultimately moved out and decided on divorce. I'm here to stop this from happening. My DB coach is giving me good advice plus the stuff I am reading on this BB. I've been able to see my child and I made the mistake of being emotional and needy. This past week I've been cordial and talk only about our child. I brought my wife a box of diapers which seemed to surprise her. I'll continue to follow the advice of my coach and learn from the vets. My goal is to be a better person and, hopefully, save my marriage.
Jody is amazing. She gave me the logic behind the 180, going dark, etc. I told her I am in a LRT situation, so she adjusted my actions accordingly. This experience has been like a masters course in psychology.
Stick to one post. I've read this as well as the other post but you have never detailed your marital history. Do that here and just stick to the facts. No judgements on your W. That way we can get a clearer picture to be able to help you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
OK. I'll stick here. We've been married 4 years. She got pregnant last year and we had the baby in Feb. Two months ago, we had an arguement about buying a home. She up and left. Two days later, she wanted divorce. I begged for counseling, she agreed. In the end, she wants divorce. I've tried everything including DB, nothing is working. I keep my cool in front of her, dress well, try being friendly, but it doesn't phase her. She wants out. There's a bf in her life. She wants to hate me. That's basically it.
Her email was clear and to the point. When I go to pick up my daughter, she won't speak with me at all. She says only email. I try to be friendly. I am sure she has moved on with bf.
I've tried everything including DB, nothing is working. I keep my cool in front of her, dress well, try being friendly, but it doesn't phase her. She wants out. There's a bf in her life. She wants to hate me. That's basically it.
snafu, "trying" DB takes a looooooooooooooooong time with LOTS of patience. I know you want things to move and work out and be happy with M again but it sounds more like you are pressuring her still instead of DB'ing. So I hardly think a few months of db is tantamount to 'nothing working'.
Post your pressuring thoughts here before you talk or see her and you will get some great advice. At times, it will be hard to follow, but it is valuable to gain another perspective on your terrible situation. Hang in there.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
