Easy guys, don't beat me up yet! smile I actually did text her back this AM - I have been reaching out to some friends because, even with working out, I can't move a piano by myself! Just told her it would have to be next week, and she said that was fine. Also, I am not interested in control, other than control of myself - it was just an observation that when I stopped letting her push me around, things very quickly changed in her demeanor.

W then asked me if I had signed her dissolution (which I had already said I wasn't going to) - and I just said no. She was mad about it, and initiated a bit of R talk. I told her I couldn't sign it because it was wrong. She said I had two years to do the "right thing", it was too late, she's moving on, etc, etc, standard script. One thing that is different is the excuses she has for divorce are running pretty thin because of my DBing. I know I vent and spazz out on here sometimes, but have been pretty calm and collected with W.

She said, "You can't stop me from divorcing you", and I said, "You're right. I'm simply doing the right thing and not quitting on you as I promised."

I felt like a DB champ instead of a DB chump (don't laugh)! I validated, told her I was sorry she felt so badly, that I understood her fears, that I regretted that things had been in bad shape. She told me she couldn't believe me when I said things, and I responded that made sense, that's why I was willing to show actions.

Then I said, "If you want to discuss further, you're welcome to call me later, but I have a meeting now. Have a nice day."

No response, but I'm pretty happy. I know I probably didn't do perfectly, but my first real R conversation where there was no trying to change her mind, no feeling queasy, etc. Just calm clear responses for the first time in almost 2 months.