I do think it was with OW. He never has had many buddies to go out with. But you're right I don't know anything for sure
Consider this, what if he was just out with a buddy? And then he comes home and finds you giving him the cold shoulder. So he thinks "good grief, I can't even have a beer with a friend without her getting PO'd about it, I was so right about needing out of this M!" Have you read in DR about acting "as if"?
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Yes, this is what I am struggling with. I'm trying to detach but yet remain in contact because of what I did before. So I get very confused on how to do it correctly in my sitch
What is "detaching" to you? Most people go into this thinking "detaching" is pushing away from the spouse, ignoring them and acting cold and indifferent towards them. THAT IS NOT IT! Detaching simply means you get off their roller coaster. I've put it this way before:
ATTACHED: H happy- you happy. H sad- you sad. H angry- you angry.
DETACHED: H happy- you happy. H sad- you happy. H angry- you happy.
Why is it important? First, because you need to find a way to happiness OUTSIDE of your H. Second, because he needs to see that you are happy WITH or WITHOUT him before he'll worry about losing you.
