I need to work on my PMA when he is around. That is tough, I still attach my feelings to his and especially not knowing what is on his mind and trying to guess keeps me going round and round.

I didn't go downstairs this morning like I have been and he did not say goodbye before he left, now I feel down about it. This is really hard not to attach myself to what he does because this is partly what helped my depression become more serious. I didn't know how to bring him out and it is still the same behavior from him, which is difficult to keep my PMA up after 2 years of this. I have been doing this for so long now, not just before BD that I am struggling with letting go of being attached to his feelings.

So I think I still need to go downstairs in the morning and have my coffee down there and then see him off for the day?

I'm so confused. Urgh.

Me:49 H:47
S: 16
T:27 M:25
My EA: 2001
His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013
Separated, but H still in house

Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.