It's amazing how the balance of control shifts by just putting up a boundary.
I didn't respond to W's texts and she texted me again this AM, and said, "It'd be really nice if you'd acknowledge what I'm asking. Geez". Cracks me up a little that someone can have an EA, leave church, dump her friends, parents, and extended family, and break up a family, but by gosh, it'd be nice if someone acknowledged her!
Now ahe is the one asking nicely, and its crucial to note here that I made no efforts at control. I simply set a clear boundary then went dim, almost dark. Zero contact of any kind except for one email with an overdue bill, and that was sent with no comments. (I didn't want to be on the hook for the bill)
I may or may not respond today; I will have to text her tomorrow to let her know I'm taking kids to the Y, but that will be one text, very matter of fact... It feels good to not feel helpless; and it hasn't flipped to anger or hatred, just simple patience!
