Becoming Patient Man III - Moving Forward

[PatientMan]

I do not have a very good antenna for picking up when women are interested in me, which usually means if *I* notice it, it's pretty blatant.

XW has been moving closer and closer to me. She is not the forward type, and - as I've pointed out earlier this month - have come very close to just DOING something because I felt the time was right. However, giving her space and time seems to be working, and this other part of me says that I need to let her be the one to initiate anything towards reconciliation. After all, the D was her idea and choice. If she is second guessing it, it's up to her to deal with it, not me.

In a way, I can see how that may seem petty, but I don't mean it in a petty or disciplinary way. It seems to make sense.

One of my sisters visited this past weekend. She and her husband agreed that XW and I are the "oddest divorced couple they have ever seen or heard of." As in, if they didn't know we were divorced, they wouldn't have been able to tell. My parents have said the same thing after their visits. So have other siblings.

So I'm slightly confused about things, but since I'm not on her roller coaster and am doing quite well, it isn't really bothering me. Just odd, I suppose. And I have a bit of an inner dialogue going on:

Me: She's giving you signals- do something...take charge!
Me: That could immediately put a perception of pressure back on her, and the absence of pressure is what has allowed us to get where we are now. It's up to her to make a decision as to what she wants, and then it's up to her to act on it.
Me: This IS her acting on it by putting herself out there in her own way - this is how she does it. She isn't direct in this area.
Me: In a normal situation that would be fine, but this isn't a normal situation.

Right now my default setting is to not say anything or force anything, but I find I'm getting closer to just asking her "what are we doing?" After all, there's still unfinished business to take care of.

Either way, I know I'm going to be awesome, so I kind of have a casual attitude towards it instead of the obsessively desperate attitude I previously have had. Wow...I do not miss that!

Thoughts?

-PM