Sandi - I assume that when you refer to a marriage healing program, you are referring to a book or method that gives steps that we can take to work things through. Can you recommend one that we would both participate in?
I wish I could, but the ones I would like to recommend are not allowed b/c of board policy. You need a program that deals with the healing after an affair. There are more marriage improvement books and programs than you could shake a stick at, but they don't get down into the real meat of your problem. You can look in any woman's magazine or google marriage and find somebody's ten tips to have a happy MR. Most of that junk is useless. Search for authors, or marriage programs that have addressed the issues after the affair. Even doing a google search could lead you in the right direction.
There are some that are considered tough love, in comparison to what you may hear on this board. Then there's some that aren't tough enough. So, you just have to search. Don't take too long, however, b/c she needs the guidance and direction right now. You will discover pretty quickly if she is serious about ending the A and working on the M.
I will warn you, what you experienced and heard from your W this past weekend....has happened to others, but it was not enough to end the A.
When speaking with her about the steps to take to prevent repeating the same mistakes, it might be wise to choose your words carefully. Yes, she was the one who was unfaithful and had the A, but this will be a work that requires both of you determined to protect the M. She may be quite sensitive and feel you are placing all blame on her.
Good job in having a relaxed weekend. Keeping it light and fun was the way to go. It gives the mind & heart a mini-break for a couple of days.
Does your W have a little older & wiser respected lady for her role model?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
