My husband suggested IC to me many times and he also suggested that I needed to look within but it all fell on deaf ears. I felt that I had done everything I could to fix our M and he wasn't interested so I wasn't the one with the issues. There wasn't anything he could have said to make me look within.
When he was truly done, after years of us together/not together, together/not together is when I finally realized that I had some growing to do. The point is, your W needs to get to that place on her own.
Also, I do not believe in ultimatums. An ultimatums says "if you don't do this, I am doing this". Standing up for yourself says "W, I love you, however I believe I have done all I can to repair our M and I have decided I can no longer live this way. Therefore, I am xxxxxx". At that point, W knows where you stand and she is free to make her own choice, the one she really wants. For me, that was realizing I really wanted my H and not OM.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
