NEW LIFE / NEW ME - TAKING OFF!

[Fartiltre]

AS, T

Thanks for your thoughts!

I understand that you are trying to stay away from your W and make her learn to miss you

I am also staying away to save myself. I am feeling so much better and stronger after she moved and especially after going dim (or whatever I should call since we speak several times a week)
I have been tumbling around for so long, but for the last six weeks give or take a day I am getting stronger every day.

It sounds like there's some resentment building in your W over this issue. IE, she's not learning to miss you, she's getting angry.

I shouldn’t try to mind read but I believe you are right. She is not spewing lava but she isn’t happy about this either. IMO her picture of life after BD cracked after I went dim and that’s why she is not happy.

Remember cheeseless tunnels, monitor the results of what you're doing and if it doesn't work then try something else.

Ohh, I remember – I looked so much for cheese for several months that I ended up seeing it everywhere . I have been down this dim-road for 6 weeks now. Last time W and I did something together was aug. 13 when D6 started school. Since then we have talked several times (every second day or so in average) but only about Ds, finance and the subjects she have brought up. I have initiated a few talks but mainly to get to talk with the Ds.
This is IMO the first time anything has changed but if it is changing for the worse then that’s a potential problem. I don’t understand W or WAS nearly good enough to make this call. At the same time I am quite certain that she is only looking for time with children (cake) and not time with me.

The more you reject her it seems like the worse you become at it and she is put off.

Did I do that terrible today??
IMO it was a nice and calm talk. No raised voices. Dragon eyes once, but overall nice and pleasant. Normally I have felt so awkward around her – that feeling was much less today so I managed to do eye contact, listen better, seeming relaxed and so on. Not that I did good - only better.

I think it would help grease the wheels for your xmas plans also by accepting an invite. She might start thinking you dislike her as a person.

I can’t bring up the Christmas subject right now. Todays experience stalled that IMO.

This is hard on me, guys! I appreciate your advice so much and I understand what you are saying but it also confuses me about what to do. It seems like I am doing wrong every time I think I am doing right – I am not stating this as a little sad boy, but as a wondering man.

Thanks!

F