When I asked her why, her first concern was that it had too much to do with religion and the church. I assured her that I have read from people that have gone that that is not really the case.
The she said she didn't feel comfortable talking about our issues. I told her the only person she would be talking to was me. She proceeded to tell me she didn't always feel comfortable talking to me about it either and that she didn't want any confrontation. (for the record I am NOT confrontational so I was really surprised to hear this. She's even thanked me for this numerous times during our sitch. She said she felt safe talking to me when I asked her during our last R talk. She seems to flip flop a lot)
She said she wished she could just go by herself.
So I suggested she go see an IC. She said she thought that was a good idea but I fairly confident that will go no where.
We got into a brief R discussion. This was over a week ago so the details are a bit foggy, but there was nothing "new" discussed.
She reiterated that she had many little feelings pre BD that all turned to concrete when the EA was busted. And although I'm a much better version of who I was before she still hasn't got the feelings back.
I once again told her the feelings are going to magically come back and that she needed to get the proper tools to help her. She agreed. (She agreed the last time this came up, but has done nothing about it)
I told her the "craving" she said she was looking for (during our last R convo 1.5 months ago) was the "easy" part. Finding some new attractive person you have no history with would be "easy" to crave because its new and exciting etc etc.
She said "I know".
We got interrupted by the kids and the convo ended.
She came up to me minutes later, gave me a kiss and told me she loved me. It had been at least a month previous to this that she's said that.
We seem to share a closeness after every R talk. I'm not sure if she sees that or not.
She still seems to be making an effort and "trying".
We haven't has S in 1.5 months. Thats a long time for us, even post BD.
I'm still being patient, but there's days I struggle. So far today is one of them.
I never have any idea whats going on in her head. I know its not in my control.
Originally Posted By: lovethehub
Working things out internally changed that and I feel completely different.
I know it may be controlling, but I know there's going to come a day when I am going to flat out tell my W she needs to do this ^^^^ if she wants any change. That she is the only one that can make herself happy etc
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
