But at times it has been made or offered that friends with benefits could be a possibility. How to deal with that?? Do I take up the friends with benefit offer, or continue to wait for my W.......to do what? Do I wait until a divorce is given? Or do I go with the view that I still love my wife, but, there is a good chance she is in a relationship or if not, she has made no effort to even look at us being a couple again. Do I not take up the option and miss out on some closeness that I am so missing?
First, don't "wait" for your W. Standing isn't waiting. It's moving on with your life while leaving the door open to possible reconciliation.
Second, it's strictly up to you as to whether you want to engage in a new R, and what the nature of that R is. I tend to agree with T that if you want closeness, you're probably not going to get it in a FWB R, so keep that in mind. My personal take on D is that the "real" D happens a long time before the paperwork version, so I haven't let the lack of the paperwork D (which is currently underway) dissuade me from dating. But each person has a different take on this, so you've got to decide what yours is.
