WR, It will get worse before it gets better. Yes, this is very normal behavior because he' very angry w/life and w/himself. One of the things that I noticed w/my xh is that when he didn't get his way w/his bully tactics, he would become a very angry individual and would take that anger out on anyone in his path.
Oh, yes, he will blame you totally for his crappy life and he will play the victim and vilify you to the nth degree. Don't buy into his drama. Stay the course and ask for a list of his "wants". I had to chuckle over the can opener donation...sounds so much like my xh's mlc escape. They sure don't think things out when the fly the coop.
Don't take whatever he dishes out personally. Try to separate the behavior from the person. The behavior is that of a child who has been hurt very badly and wants to be recognized and have his "fair" share in life. Unfortunately, the way they go about it is destructive and ruins a lot of relationships along the way.
Please try to keep the boys out of the situation as much as possible because I sense that they are getting upset over the way things are going. I know that they hear and see things, but I'd try not to discuss too much of the situation w/them for now.
Stay the course.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
