My H has had some health issues the past few weeks that are really putting the breaks on any reconciling or moving in any direction at all. As he's not feeling well he's spending increasing time at his place and less and less here. I see no end in sight until they figure out what is wrong with him.
On the one hand I feel like a huge jerk for always feeling suspicious of his behavior (is he really sick when bailing on things, or is it something else...)
On the other hand the fact that he was starting to act like our home was "home" for him again and now that he's not feeling well he doesn't come around creates an interesting dynamic. If he lived here he'd be home when he's sick, tired, etc. Note that he's not contagious so it's not like he's avoiding us so we don't get sick. Plus he's certainly not looking to me for comfort and continues to keep me at arms length being somewhat distant when we are together.
I'm continuing to do my own thing and trying to keep my expectations set on him not being around much... Making my own plans and having my own fun. Like today I planned a hiking trip for me and the baby rather than sitting around waiting to hear if he wanted to come over. To my surprise my H actually joined us and we had a nice afternoon.
Lastly, the lack of physical connection has made things feel sort of odd. When he first started coming around he initiated some awkward cuddling and a stray awkward kiss or two. Now, even if he stays over there is no contact whatsoever. It's odd to not get a morning kiss before work or after he gets home. I have to say it really feels like we are just friends w/ neither of us feeling like we need more right now. I try to remember I just had a baby so I'm not 100% yet. Plus he's not feeling the best and I know watching someone have a baby could be traumatic ha ha. However I'm just wondering when the desire for physical contact or intimacy will return for either of us.
On the whole things are nether good nor bad... Just on autopilot till he feels better I guess.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
ha ha. However I'm just wondering when the desire for physical contact or intimacy will return for either of us.
